A Race To Say Goodbye
by DarkandtwistyGirl
Summary: Pre-series. AU. Dean never saw it coming, he never thought that a phone call would cause him and his father to make a dash across the country to try and see his brother one last time. Will they even be able to arrive in time to say goodbye? *Complete*
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural, or any recognisable characters. **

**Another new fic for you all, it's been in the plans for a long time, and I'm just now getting around to posting it. I think I'm in a bit of a death fic faze right now. *lol* **

**Enjoy!**

* * *

It is the middle of the day, and Dean is driving the impala along the interstate just north of Dallas, with his father following him in his own truck. Dean's drumming his fingers on the steering wheel to AC/DC Highway to Hell, and is startled from his almost trance-like state when his cell phone rings, turning down his music slightly he answers the offending object. "Yea, what do ya want?" At this moment he couldn't care less if he sounded harsh; it's been eight months since his baby brother ran away to university, and he hasn't been the same since.

"Dean?" A rather uneasy voice comes over the line.

"Actually it's the Easter Bunny, who did you think it is?" Dean replies, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Dean, it's Pastor Jim." He pauses for a minute, listening to the middle Winchester's mumbled regrets for being abrupt, when they eventually stop he continues. "Where abouts are you? Is your John with you?"

"We're both in Texas, think we've got a werewolf just outside Dallas."

"You need to come to Blue Earth, you and your Dad." Jim says shortly, no one should hear what he has to say over the phone, and he knows how much this news is going to hurt Dean.

"Sure, I'll just drop everything, and come for a visit." And the sarcasm continues.

"Dean, I didn't want to tell you this over the phone, but... Sam's here-"

As soon as he hears this, Dean does a complete one-eighty into full on over protective big brother mode. "What?! Why's he there? He's supposed to be at Stanford."

"..." There's a noticeable pause, before Jim tells Dean. "As I was saying he is here, has been since he moved away from you and John." He's reluctant to say anymore.

But Dean is insistent. "Why? He was going to Stanford, he got a full scholarship. What the hell is going on?!"

Jim sighs sadly before he says. "He's sick, leigh's disease. The doctor says that he probably only has maybe a few days left-"

"WHAT!?!" Dean exclaims as he slams on the brakes, and swerves onto the gravel embankment.

Whatever Jim might have said next fell on deaf ears as Dean drops the phone, wrenches open the car door, jumps out, and promptly runs headlong into his father, who after a tense moment avoiding running up the back of the Impala also pulled over.

John grabs Dean, and holds him firmly so that he can't run further. At first John is angry at Dean for his recent actions, but seeing the look of absolute devastation and shock on his eldest son's face he promptly, even if awkwardly pulls Dean close to him, and firmly wraps his arms around him. "What's wrong, kiddo?" He asks his son worriedly.

"He's dying." Dean cries brokenly into his father's shoulder.

John pulls Dean back to an arms length away, and questions him. "What're you talking about? Who's dying?"

"Sam."

At this moment, John could have been knocked down by a feather. _What is going on? Is he really saying that Sam is dying?!_

"He lied to us, all this time he's been at Pastor Jim's, counting on us being too damn stubborn to go looking for him."

All John can say is. "Oh my god." He then notices Dean's phone on the front seat of the impala, he gently eases Dean to the ground, and then picks up the phone, and answers it. "Anyone there?"

"...John? That you?"

"Yeah, who's this?" John asks, his voice thick with sadness.

"It's Jim, Jim Murphy. Has Dean told you..." He trails off uncertainly.

John quickly replies. "Yeah, he's really ...d-dying? What's wrong with my baby boy?"

"It's a long story, John. You just really need to get here as fast as possible, if you want to see him alive."

"Why didn't you call us any sooner!?!" John demands, how could this have been kept from him?

"...Sam didn't want you or Dean to see him like this, he made me promise not to call, but I couldn't keep this from you any longer; you have a right to see him."

John wastes no more time on the phone call, and snaps the phone closed.

* * *

Within five minutes John and Dean are going back the way they came, racing the clock to reach Sam.

* * *

Meanwhile in Blue Earth, Jim puts down the phone receiver with a sigh; he has just broke a promise to someone who trusted him, and hurt two people he's known for years, in the space of a few minutes.

Before Jim can do anything else, Alana, the young homecare nurse that he hired to help care for Sam calls out to him, and he goes to see what's going on.

* * *

When Jim walks into Sam's room, he sees Alana gently combing out Sam's long shaggy hair. Jim quietly says. "You called?" Trying to avoid disturbing Sam unnecessarily.

Alana nods as she says. "He's starting to fade. I didn't want to leave him to ask you if you've contacted his family yet. I know Sam didn't want them to be here, but..."

"I called Dean. They'll be here in a day or two." Jim tells her, but as he looks at Sam's frail body, he can't help but wonder if they'll make it in time.

"What made you change your mind?" Alana asks, not looking up from her work.

Jim pauses, thinking for a minute before he answers. "I've known this family since Sam was a baby, and I know that if Dean doesn't get to see Sam he will never forgive himself."

* * *

**TBC...**

**Thanks for reading! **

**Will Dean and John get to Blue Earth in time? Will Dean cope without his brother? How much can one family deal with?**

**Please review! I'd love to get some feedback on this fic!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural, or any recognisable characters. **

**Thanks for all the wonderful reviews! I wasn't sure about posting this, so it's great to hear that people are enjoying it. **

**Enjoy!**

* * *

One year earlier

Sam is sitting on his bed in their latest motel room; Dean and John are out getting food. Sam has just received his acceptance letter from Stanford, and as overjoyed as he is to have been accepted into one of the best universities in the country, Sam knows that he'll never be able to go.

Every day Sam can feel himself getting weaker, every time he goes to see his doctor they tell him that the disease has progressed, or that there's another complication.

Dean and John don't even know he's sick. Sam has used every excuse imaginable to hide his condition, camps, sleepovers, whatever he can think up, and now the university offer in his hands that was his future, is now going to be his new excuse, his way out, his way of saving his family from watching him die.

But for now he stows the envelope away in the base of his duffle bag; Sam knows that when he tells them about Stanford, he has to get them to kick him out of the family, there's no way he can let them see him sick and dying.

* * *

It is nearly another four months before Sam takes the envelope out of his bag. It is the week before the university year starts up; he has to make them believe that he is leaving for school.

He has called Pastor Jim, one of his family's oldest friends. And in a few hours he is leaving for Blue Earth where he plans to live out the rest of his drastically shortened life.

Taking a deep, shaky breath, Sam stands up, and goes out to where his father and Dean are sitting cleaning the guns.

_Perfect. At least none of the guns work right now._ Sam thinks wearily as he goes and sits down next to them as he asks. "Can I talk to you guys for a minute?"

"Sure, what's up, Sam?" Dean asks as he looks over to Sam; John stays focused on the rifle he's currently reassembling.

"..." Sam hesitates.

"Sam?" Dean prompts. What's going on?

Sam looks down at his feet, and picks at a loose thread in his jeans as he says. "I got accepted to Stanford ...I'm leaving." Sam is hardly shocked when the gun his father is assembling hits the floor with a loud thud, and his brother's jaw nearly hits the floor. They never saw this coming, and he has to do this right. _Gotta make them believe it, and make sure that they don't come looking for me._

In a state of shock, Dean asks heartbrokenly. "Why're you doing this Sammy? You really want to leave us?"

Sam sighs before he tells them with forced anger in his voice. "I hate this life. Mom never would've wanted it for us!"

Dean and John look at the youngest member of their family with a hatred usually reserved for the things they hunt.

Dean furiously yells at Sam. "Don't bring Mom into this! You never even knew her!"

"I never I had a chance to know her!" Sam screams with tears rolling down his face; this is already hard enough, how dare he say that?!

After a moment of tense silence, Dean asks with sadness in his voice. "Why are you doing this, Sammy? Why do you want to leave us?"

Sam can feel his heart breaking as he says. "You guys don't even really want me here, you just want to control me. I'm not like you, I don't want to hunt, I just want to be normal."

Then John makes what he doesn't realise at the time, but is his biggest mistake. In the heat of the moment he shouts at Sam. "Fine then, leave! Go to school, and don't come back!"

"Fine." Sam screams back, hating himself when he sees the devastated expression on Dean's face, as he grabs his already packed duffle bag, and storms out.

* * *

Present day

After driving at a pace that can only be described as neck breaking for almost six hours, Dean and John pull into a run down motel's parking lot. John goes into the office to sign in, while Dean, still too devastated to even function properly, waits in the Impala.

* * *

Several minutes later, John comes back from checking in, and he and Dean haul their bags into one of the rooms. Once they've put the bags down at the ends of their allotted beds, they both sit down at the table.

"Why didn't he tell us, Dad? We should've known, we should've been there for him." Dean asks brokenly.

John shakes his head wearily, and then answers. "I don't know, son. I don't know."

There really is nothing else to say, and they turn in soon after.

* * *

Meanwhile, back at Jim's. Jim is called into Sam's room by Alana for the second time that night, and when he enters he sees Sam struggling for breath, to the point that his lips are turning blue.

"What's happening?!" Jim questions Alana demandingly.

Alana sighs sadly as she turns around to face Jim, and then tells him. "He's going into respiratory failure, if he isn't intubated soon, he won't make it through the night."

Jim isn't surprised, they knew this was coming, but what'll happen if Sam dies before Dean arrives, Dean will never survive it. "He doesn't want to be on a vent, you know that."

"I just thought, with the situation with his family..." Alana says, only to trail off.

Jim runs a hand through his hair, sighing as he replies. "Is there anything else you can do, short of putting him on a ventilator? Just until his dad and brother get here."

"..." Alana pauses, thinking for a moment before she suggests. "I could increase his bi-pap time, from nights to constant. That could work for a few days."

"Do it." Jim agrees before he goes over to Sam, and comforting him until he is connected to the bi-pap, and getting enough oxygen to calm down.

* * *

Within hours of arriving at the motel, and after only having maybe a couple of hours sleep, Dean is getting restless, he wants to get back on the road. Eventually the noise of him pacing and packing wakes John, and he sits up in bed, and questions Dean. "What're you doing? Go back to bed, Dean."

"No, Dad." Dean says stubbornly. "We need to get going, we've wasted long enough."

"No, Dean. We're not going anywhere 'til morning, just go back to bed."

Dean sits down on the side of his bed, facing his father, and says. "He was meant to be at school, being 'Joe College', not at Jim's because he's freaking terminally ill!" By the end of his little rant, Dean's voice has a hysterically pitch to it.

"I know, son, but there's nothing we can do about it now. And it's not going to do any good if we total the cars on our way there 'cause we can't stay awake, is it?!" John says, hoping that the darkness is preventing his eldest son from seeing him cry.

"No, sir." Dean answers shortly.

* * *

As soon as Dean hears his father start snoring again, several minutes later, he pulls out the laptop, and quickly types in a search 'leigh's disease'.

It shows several promising sites, and Dean clicks on the first one he finds. He quickly skims through the article, and words and phrases like terminal, no known cure, death within a year of the onset of symptoms seem to be constant, and he doesn't take long to reach the realization.

_Sam knew he was sick for a long time before he left._

* * *

**TBC...**

**Thanks for reading! **

**Please review! I'd love to get some feedback on this fic!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural, or any recognisable characters. **

**Thanks for all the wonderful reviews, I love recieving all your kind messages! I was planning on this being the last chapter, but there was just too much to pack in, so there'll be one more after this. **

**Enjoy!**

* * *

When Dean and John arrive in Blue Earth the next afternoon, Jim meets them at the door, and escorts them into the kitchen, insisting that he needs to talk to them before they see Sam, needs to explain the situation.

* * *

As soon as they're seated, Jim addresses Dean. "I'm sorry, but I think we should talk before you go see Sam."

"Okay, fine." Dean says, clearly unhappy at being kept from his brother.

Jim takes a deep breath before he begins to explain. "About eighteen months ago, Sam found out he had leigh's disease, it's a very rare condition that affects the central nervous system... his brain. It means that he began to lose movement of his body, his appetite went very quickly, he even suffered several seizures in the months before he came here."

"Why didn't he tell us?" Dean questions the pastor, he needs to know. Did he do something?! Was there any way he could have gotten Sam to stay?

Jim sighs, knowing that the next words out of his mouth are going to hurt the middle Winchester. "Sam didn't want you to see him getting weaker." He gives John a pointed look, making sure that he knows exactly who he means Sam didn't want to have know. After giving them a moment to process it, Jim continues. "He has a home care nurse taking care of him, his breathing got bad last night, and she had to change his oxygen system, now he's on a machine, bi-pap constantly, it's not ideal, but it's keeping him alive."

"How did he even manage to keep this from me?! He must have seen doctors, and done all that stuff. How'd he hide that?" Dean says as soon as Jim finishes speaking, and Jim doesn't deny him.

* * *

Eighteen months earlier

It's late in the afternoon, and Sam, Dean, and John are on a hunt in the Minnesota woods, a wendigo. They've already had one run in with the wendigo, and they are now searching for it again, since it took off wounded.

They haven't even walked that far today, but still, Sam is struggling to walk, his legs just aren't working properly.

Just then, John calls out. "Get down, Sam!"

Sam tries to follow his father's orders, but his quick drop turns into more of an ungraceful fall, he can't even get his hands out to break his fall, they just doesn't work fast enough.

Sam hears a shot ring out just above him, and a moment later, Dean is at Sam's side, offering him a hand up. Sam can't even reach Dean's hand to get help up, and it's only a moment before Dean says. "Come on, Sam. You've got to get up, it's time to get outta here."

"Move it, Sam." John shouts abruptly as he begins to pack away their weapons. "We've got to go."

After a tense moment, Sam manages to take Dean's hand, and with a lot of help, he stands up.

As soon as Sam is standing, Dean questions him. "What happened, Sammy?"

As Sam brushes himself off, and a tries desperately not to fall over again, he answers. "Nothing, I tripped. Let's go."

Dean doesn't even know what to do, Sam doesn't want to talk about it, and their father clearly isn't interested.

* * *

The next day Sam is still struggling to get around, and he is getting worried, so he takes one of his fake ids, and makes an appointment at a local free clinic. Sam makes sure that the appointment is at a time when he knows that John will be at his latest casual job and Dean will almost certainly be at a bar, hustling; he can't let them find out that there's something wrong.

* * *

Sam manages to get to the doctor's appointment, and get a barrage of tests done without Dean or John noticing, and he goes back to the doctor several days later under the premise that he needs to see a friend before they leave town, while Dean and John are packing.

* * *

Within a few minutes of arriving at the clinic, Sam is sitting opposite the doctor in an office. The doctor flips through Sam's thin file before he looks up at Sam with a sympathetic look in his eyes. "The test results show that you have leigh's disease, a progressive neurometabolic disorder, it is very rare. Usually it occurs in infancy, but it can occur in teenagers and even adults." The doctor pauses for a moment, letting the news sink in before he continues. "There is no cure, but if you start taking thiamin tablets and eat a low-carbohydrate diet, you can increase your life expectancy."

"Life expectancy?" Sam enquires timidly, shell-shocked by the news.

Again with that damn sympathetic look, the doctor tells Sam. "Even with treatment, this condition is almost always fatal. I'm sorry."

Sam doesn't hear anything else the doctor says after the words 'always fatal'. He's dying, how can this be happening, he's only seventeen?!

_What am I supposed to tell Dean and Dad?!_

_I can't tell them, no way, I can't put them through this._

* * *

Present day

Jim shows Dean and John through to Sam's room as soon as he has explained everything, and despite the preparation they are shocked by Sam's gaunt, pale, sickly body in the bed, his long shaggy hair the only thing that is recognizable.

Alana is at his bedside, adjusting one of the numerous machines, and she turns around when she hears them enter, she goes over to them, and introduces herself. "Hi, you must be John and Dean. I'm Alana, Sam's nurse."

Dean barely even acknowledges her, focusing on Sam as he questions. "Is Sam alright? Why isn't he awake?"

Alana moves closer to Dean, and asks him. "You know that Sam is in the end stage of his disease, don't you?"

Dean merely nods, unable to find the words.

Alana then proceeds to explain to Dean, and to John. "Sam's body is starting to shut down, it's expected that he sleeps for long periods of time."

"But what about that mask and all that other stuff? What is that all for?" John asks, still taken aback by the sight of his youngest son.

Alana points out each piece of equipment, the bi-pap system, a hemodialysis unit, because his kidneys failed early in the disease, a central line for fluids and nutrition, which he can no longer get for himself, and other tubes and wires that seem endless, and with each item as she explains to them what it does and why Sam needs it, but basically to sum it up. "Without this equipment, Sam would most likely die within hours ...with proper pain management it is the easiest way for him to go."

* * *

**TBC...**

**Thanks for reading! **

**Please review! I love getting feedback on my fics!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural, or any recognisable characters. **

**Thanks for all the wonderful reviews, I love recieving all your kind messages! **

**This is the final chapter of this fic. I hope you've all enjoyed reading it as much as I have writing it. **

**Enjoy!**

* * *

When Sam wakes up several hours later, Dean is sitting at his side. As soon as Sam lays eyes on Dean, his expression turns to one of disbelief, and uncertainty. Due to the mask, he can only whisper a few muffled words. "De...What...doing...here?"

Dean moves closer to Sam, and tells him. "Jim called me. Me and Dad got here a few hours ago." He angrily wipes away a tear as he asks Sam. "Why the hell didn't you tell me, Sammy?! I would've tried to help."

Alana then walks into the room, and seeing Sam's efforts to speak to his brother, she quickly swaps his mask for a nasal cannula so he can speak more easily. Once she's done, she moves towards the back of the room, allowing Sam and Dean some space.

"I'm sorry, Dean. I just, I never wanted you to see me ...like this. You were always Dad's favorite, and I was the stuff-up, I couldn't let myself be a burden to you." Sam tells his older brother, his best friend, sadly.

"But I should've been there for you, I'm meant to look after you." Dean says guiltily, as he continues to berate and beat himself up he adds. "I never should've taken Dad's side that day, when you left. I should've known there was something going on."

Sam, clearly getting weaker, tells Dean. "I never wanted you there, I couldn't bare hurting you like that." He pauses, trying to catch his breath. "I'm sorry, Dean."

Before Dean can say anymore, Sam's eyelids slip shut, and his whole body visibly relaxes. Dean instantly turns to Alana, in fear, and asks. "What's going on? Is he alright?!"

Alana looks at Sam, and straight away she stops what she is doing, and comes over to Dean, as she places a comforting hand on his arm, she tells him. "He has slipped into a coma." Dean looks between her and Sam disbelievingly, as she goes on to say. "It is to be expected at this point."

Despite the devastating news, and Dean's overwhelming need to escape, he stays at Sam's side.

* * *

Later that evening, Dean has left Sam, just long enough to get something to eat. As he walks into the kitchen, he overhears John talking to someone on the phone. "...can be there in a few days... ...Yeah, no major hold up, it'll be taken care of soon, and I'll be there."

Dean can't help the surge of anger that comes over him upon hearing this. _No major hold up?! No, it's just your own son on his fucking deathbed! You sonva bitch!_

Reacting on instinct, Dean lunges at his father, knocking the phone from his hand as he forces him to the ground. "You bastard! How dare you!?!" Dean screams as he lays into his father, punching and kicking him in a fury fueled rage.

John, caught by surprise, fights back against his son's attack, with little success. As he lies there, taking every blow, John pleads with Dean. "Dean, what're you doing?! Stop!"

Dean doesn't slow down as he screams at John. "This is your fault, you bastard! Sam never would've left, and I would've been there for him through all this! But you, you kept pushing and pushing him, and now he's dying, and you call him _no major hold up_, how dare you?! How fucking dare you!?!"

At that moment, Jim walks into the room, and sees the fight. He quickly pulls Dean away from his father, and takes him outside to talk. Dean needs it.

* * *

The next day, Dean has barely left Sam's side since his fight with John, and is now alongside his father and Jim as Alana prepares to start disconnecting Sam from all the medical equipment, except for one line to give him pain medication. They have decided that it is time to let him go peacefully, he's suffered for long enough.

Before she starts, Alana looks up at each of them in turn, and compassionately enquires. "Are you ready?"

John and Jim nods, while Dean asks. "When you do this, is he going to..." He still struggles to say it. "die straight away? Or what? I mean, how's this gonna happen?"

Alana smiles gently at Dean as she sympathetically answers. "It could be minutes, or hours, possibly even days, it varies greatly, but most likely he won't live through the night."

Dean barely acknowledges Alana or anyone else in the room, except Sam, as Alana expertly disconnects him from the life prolonging equipment.

* * *

In the early hours of the next morning, Dean is resting at Sam's bedside, when Alana gently shakes him awake.

After a moment of confusion, Dean looks over to his brother. Sam's breathing is shallow, and he is clearly struggling. Dean jumps out of his seat, and moves closer to Sam, taking hold of his hand. "Sammy?!"

Alana steps close to Dean, and gently tells him. "It won't be long now. I thought you'd want to be with him."

"You're sure? Can't you do something?" Dean questions, even though he knows that this is what Sam wants.

"It's his time." Alana replies simply before moving away to give Dean the space he clearly needs. She has only known him a couple of days, but the bond between him and her patient is obvious.

Dean silently sits down on the side of Sam's bed, and keeps one hand holding Sam's, and places the other on Sam's head, and strokes it gently, comforting his baby brother.

Dean is lying alongside Sam, holding him, when he suddenly notices that Sam chest isn't moving, he isn't breathing. Dean looks up at Alana, who just smiles reassuringly as she turns the sound off on the heart monitor, knowing what will happen next.

Dean fights back his urge to run as he feels Sam slipping away in his arms.

_Oh god, this can't be happening._

_This is so fucked up, he's just a kid!_

_Why is this happening?_

Dean doesn't even notice when Alana calls John and Jim into the room, and John sits down by the bed, all he's aware of is Sam, and the steadily weakening throb of his heart beat.

And then, it stops.

Dean doesn't even notice the tears cascading down his face as he looks up at Alana questioningly, needing confirmation.

Alana meets Dean's glance, along with those of Jim and John, and sympathetically tells them. "He's gone." Before she makes a note of the time, and leaves the family, clearly heartbroken, alone to grieve.

* * *

As Alana walks out of the room, she passes Jim in the doorway. "At least they were here." She murmurs to him softly.

"At least they got to say goodbye." Jim replies in an equally hushed tone, despite his own sadness he's relieved that Dean and John got to see Sam before his death.

* * *

**The end.**

**Thanks for reading! I hope that lived up to expectations, I never have been good at ending fics.**

**Please review! I love getting feedback on my fics!**

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